Those weird internal emails you get.......

[WTF]

Radio one did something recently about the quirky internal emails that go around.

Have you had any weird and wonderful ones at your workplace?

We had this on yesterday:

Subject: Scotch egg warning

I must apologise to the owner of the scotch eggs and small pie in the second floor fridge, as they fell out onto the floor when I opened the door.

They were only on the floor for a few seconds so I put them back in the fridge. However my conscience will not allow me not to flag this up so that the owner can either bill me or throw caution to the wind and eat them anyway.

[BeefMasta]

Probably crunch food, no one should ever buy scotch eggs.

[Ashxtc]

Food of the Gods my man!

[RichardL]

Got this yesterday.

Subject:

Mega random question but does anyone happen to have a spare coffee grinder for sale? Thank you!

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

[mjogreen]

Got this one today

"Subject: Performance review

Body: Dear Michael,

We are putting you on performance review for a period of 1 month commencing 1 February.

Should you fail to improve upon past performance we will have no choice but to let you go.

Kind regards
HR"


proper funny.

[BenS]

Are you serious? They put that in an email with no formal meeting with your line manager? How rude and unprofessional...

[XanderCage13]

Still some decents people in the world XD

[WTF]

Hola,

I’ve got two shoe boxes and a slightly bigger box to give away – I’ve left the in 1st Floor Break Room on the Table – if no-one wants them by the end of the day I’ll bin them 

The larger box is perfect for holding shoes, trinkets or something roughly the size of a human head.

Ta,

[BenS]

The larger box is perfect for holding shoes, trinkets or something roughly the size of a human head.

[WTF]

Hi Joni,

Sorry, I got flustered by the presence of both Pickled Onion Monster Munch and Scampi Flavoured Fries in the Tuck Shop and Fobbed In again on my way out. How or why, I can’t explain. Sorry.
Could you remove the extra beep at 9.28 for me please?
Thanks and sorry,

[BenS]

Subject: Scotch egg warning

I must apologise to the owner of the scotch eggs and small pie in the second floor fridge, as they fell out onto the floor when I opened the door.

They were only on the floor for a few seconds so I put them back in the fridge. However my conscience will not allow me not to flag this up so that the owner can either bill me or throw caution to the wind and eat them anyway.

Going back to the OP, researchers at some uni have just proven that the dropped food rule is in fact the 5 second rule. Dropped food can be eaten after 5 seconds of floor contact without gaining harmful levels of bacteria (depending on food texture and surface type)!

[cyclone]

Going back to the OP, researchers at some uni have just proven that the dropped food rule is in fact the 5 second rule. Dropped food can be eaten after 5 seconds of floor contact without gaining harmful levels of bacteria (depending on food texture and surface type)!

What if it fell on a pile of dogshit? Would you still eat it after 0.1 sec of contact?

[BenS]

See "depending on surface type". If turd is your surface, use common sense.

[cyclone]

I take it that is a no.

[WTF]

Hey guys,

Slight accident in the first floor kitchen.

Opened the fridge door and a Sainsbury’s carrot and coriander soup jumped out and tried to attack me.

I’ve cleaned up the mess as best I can but more importantly, if you were the owner of this Kamikaze soup I’m more than happy to reimburse you.