I <3 the internet - the things I find to help me through the day

[Dangerousfish]

No explanation required.

[Paulie]

ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE READY FOR THIS?

The following questions were in last year's GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) – and they breed and vote.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'.
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome .

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shriek wears on his head

simply brilliant made me lol!!

[Bigfeet]

Awesome table.....



More here - http://www.dbfletcher.com/

[WTF]

Errrrhhmaaageeddd

Japanese artist Makaon, geek at heart, makes sculptures from cans of beer and soda, in tributes to video game and famous cartoon heroes: Mario, Batman, Pikachu, Gundam, Macross, Mazinger Z, totoro and so on… An original way to recycle used cans!











More here

[Bigfeet]

^ I suspect a 'Hotlink' fail......

*UPDATE*

Hotlink all sorted - Awesome pics!

[Bigfeet]

In an email today, first pic is a moment of genius and the second is just really cool!

[WTF]

I need more coffee, totally missed what the bottom pic was ......

Now I see it, its very cool!

[WTF]

Who has hula hoops for lunch?

[Jagster93]

http://www.photoshoptroll.com/ Found some funny things on here their bloody good at photoshop though!

[Bigfeet]

Cool dials bro




Oh god.....just shoot me now please...

[Petewete]

What a bellend...

[Bigfeet]

Today's chuckle via email

[WTF]

O_o

[Arlow]

O_o

That's a really clever picture when you see it :cool:

[WTF]

That's a really clever picture when you see it :cool:

I actually got it! Rare for me